It seemed to me that everything lined up for me to have this baby.
My period came early. I started ovulating the first day of our honeymoon. Eva was even asking for a baby when we got back. Although I was sick I was happy when I found out I was pregnant. The excitement I felt was mitigated by the fear of miscarriage when I started spotting. I shed my tears for the baby I thought I probably wouldn't have. After the spotting stopped and the HCG in the blood test results showed an increasing (although by a low 60% in 48 hours) instead of a decreasing I had hope again. My hope was tempered by my LPN telling me I'd be watched for an ectopic pregnancy. As I recovered from the flu I felt better about my pregnancy.

Although I've had cramping it was mild enough for me to ignore. It was mostly on one side but I thought it was where the baby had set up shop and things were just stretching out. Today on our way to the beach I started having sharp pains on my left side much like the pain I get from ovulation (similar to a kidney stone- yes I've had one). The pain didn't let up and it would radiate into my back. We turned around and went straight to Kapiolani Hospital. After an entire day of poking and prodding it was found to be an ectopic pregnancy. The fertilized egg had attached right next to my ovary and there was a small amount of blood in my uterus. I was given 2 MTX shots, a low dose of chemotherapy drug, and sent home with a bunch of instructions and check ups. One instruction that stands out is no folic acid, no supplements, do not eat any dark leafy greens or vegetables for a week. So much for quick healing...

I have to count my blessings. Ectopic pregnancies are a medical emergency that can be fatal. Because we caught it early there's less downtime and I'm less attached. I have plenty of support from my family and friends. It was and is upsetting. It was and still is painful. My chance of having a future ectopic pregnancy increases by 15%. They asked me in the hospital if this was a desired pregnancy. It was. I now have to wait a few more months before we can try again. My baby would have been born around December 21st. I'm thinking maybe shooting for a summer birth will be better.

I'm going to go eat some Pizzahut now. Isn't their crust fortified? Ah to heck with it...




2 Comments

  1. Much love to you, Kels... I'm sorry for your loss and hope that the next few months pass by quickly enough, until you guys can try again...

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Jules,
      Time flies, especially when there's support from friends like you. XO

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